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Women! How to Encourage Better Cunnilingus

This was one of the most popular articles from Orgasm October so we decided to edit and update it for your reading pleasure!

One of the main questions floating around the GetLusty office is why there are relatively few cunnilingus classes in Chicago. One hypothesis we've heard from event organizers as to why they have such a hard time filling seats for cunnilingus classes is that we women don't tell our husbands or lovers they could use some...ahem...lessons.

So, of course, we've got to address this issue. We think both sexes should constantly improve on their techniques. For women, sometimes we're afraid to ask for what we want. Don't be! Here are some ways you can communicate to him exactly what your vagina wants and needs. GetLusty's Lora Swarts reports.

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1. Think before you speak

Before you start talking and potentially getting off track, think about how to approach this subject. Consider your partner's feelings and write a list of everything you want to discuss. You want to avoid any negativity and hurt feelings. 

2. Be positive

Rather than tell your guy all the things he is doing wrong and potentially causing a fight, explain to him the things he does that make you feel the best. He will get the hint without you making him feel like an inadequate lover. If something is not working for you, then let him know in a way that puts a positive spin on it. For example, if you like it slow in the beginning, tell him to slow it down because you love the way he makes you feel. That lets him know you enjoy the sensations without being negative to him.

3. Give clear directions

This is an important way to let your guy know exactly what you want while he is going down on you. Again, be positive to avoid any hurt feelings. If you enjoy his fingers penetrating you while his tongue is caressing your clitoris, let him know! Men want to please us, and would appreciate clear directions and feedback.  

4. Use positive reinforcement

Tell your partner what a wonderful job they're doing. Positive reinforcement through a moan, groan, or statement, will let your guy know he is doing an awesome job. When he knows you love something he is doing, he will likely keep doing it! 

5. Make it an activity! 

If your guy is an active learner, then he will get the most out of physically going down on you. He will be able to truly explore and put all your words into action. Why not suggest you both work on your oral sex techniques and take turns pleasing each other? This way you can openly tell your guy what feels best in the moment. He can begin to explore without feeling nervous or intimidated because the ultimate goal is getting you off.

Remember, while he is going down on you, stay positive, be clear and employ reinforcement.


Lora is the GetLusty Editorial Intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, spending too much money on soy lattes or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. You can find her on Twitter @honeynutlo.

Have any questions about our editorial content? Contact her at Lora@GetLusty.com.

Your Vagina is Beautiful: 10 Artful Pics (NSFW)

Dear Readers,

It's getting towards the end of Orgasm October, so we wanted to emphasize the importance of your vulva and vagina! Sometimes we as ladies don't think our vulvas and vaginas are pretty. Not true.

They're lovely in all shapes, colors and sizes. Here's a compilation of pictures from our favorite blog, the Beauty of Vagina's Tumblr.

We're also very inspired by the gorgeous Vulva 101 coffee table book we recently received in the mail. Check out these gorgeous pictures! Enjoy your vulva's, vagina's and your body.

We've included this top picture so you can share this page freely on social media. Do share your vulva love!

With love,
Erica Grigg
Chief Lust Officer & Editor

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Love what you're reading? Don't forget to sign up for our beta launch starting December 1!

La culotte blanche d'Anastasia dans la salle de classe

3 Books on Giving the Best Cunnilingus


Today, the GetLusty HQ is winding down Orgasm October, and I'm here to provide you with some fantastic resources that will keep the spirit of the month flowing for long after. I have three recommendations of great books about female cunnilingus for your partner or for yourself. If knowledge is power, think of these three books are cunnilingus power plants! Because our Cunnilingus 101 article was so well received, GetLusty's Brendan White is here to give you three wonderful resources on cunnilingus for your best oral sex ever!

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#1 She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

William Morrow Paperbacks, 2010
Author: Ian Kerner

This book dispels the misconception that genital penetration is the primary way to bring a woman to climax. Kerner is a clinical sexology doctorate holder and his wit and candor is as entertaining as it is informative.

We at GetLusty love this particular book because Kerner focuses on several of the 5 Pillars we hold so dear, touching on health and communication in addition to sexual technique. The book's format is concise, logical and easy to chew. It's useful for any level of experience, be you a cunnilingus veteran or newbie; so don't be shy, and pick up this book today! Giving great pleasure feels good and fosters connection and appreciation between you and your lucky partner.


#2 Clit-ology: Master Every Move from A to G-spot to Give Her Ultimate Pleasure

Quiver, 2011
Authors: Jordan LaRousse, Samantha Sade

Clitology is a male-oriented book with a target audience of heterosexual men. Be assured, this is not a textbook! It's filled with large images and informative bits alike. It also includes information about how your partner's genitals will change with pregnancy and menopause.

This book leaves the shores of cunnilingus to venture into the sea of the G-spot and fingering and more. Written by founders of the top erotica site Oysters & Chocolate Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade, "Clit-ology" delivers helpful information and pictures in a rhetorically straightforward and friendly fashion. Check it out, it'll be work your time!

#3 The Clitoral Truth: The Secret World at Your Fingertips

Seven Stories Press, 2000
Author: Rebecca Chalker

Rebecca Chalker, a professor of Women's and Gender Studies at Pace University in New York City, presents us with a well known book on female sexuality, The Clitoral Truth. This book explores more than anatomy and sexual technique, diving into the importance of self-exploration and the history of the clitoris.
 
What this book lacks in pure utility, it makes up with its historiographical meandering of sex and the clitoris - a lacking element in the typical "become a cunnilingus commander in 3 easy steps" books that seem to saturate the market.
While it may not penetrate as deeply in terms of sexual technique, The Clitoral Truth is a wonderful reference for a more well-rounded understanding of the clitoris throughout history, how it works, and your relationship to it! Slightly stockier than the last book — ringing in at 256 pages — this book is a determined weekend project. When you finish, you'll likely know the most about the clitoris in your immediate and extended group of friends and, let's be honest, that fact alone should make The Clitoral Truth rise on your bucket list of books to read.

I'm on the younger side of the hill, but my sexual education growing up was an antiquated and very Roman Catholic one. This meant I had a lot of independent exploring and learning (and downright powerful embarrassment) to get out of the way when it came to sex. Reading about sex, talking about sex, learning about sex and sex in general seems to be a cultural taboo in our country, for a variety of reasons. Regardless, sex is a subject too many people know too little about.  I encourage you to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.  Pick up a book about sex today!

This article is by GetLusty's Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan chances are he's playing loud rock n roll in some laboratory with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

What to get in touch with him? E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.

En bas dans le fauteuil

Janne Hollan - Shiny Big Boobs


And here is Janne Hollan again. Doesn't she look at the same time like an angel and a cutie from next door? After her bathroom/shower set Janne returns to Score with Bra & Stocking Stuffer. Now that's a radiant choice of bra and panties, in particular on her bright skin, and packaging her voluptuous curves truly nicely. Of course we see eventually Janne's real eye candy, her juicy 38G boobs, in their uncovered glory. And we can watch closely how she dedicates these puppies an intensive creaming. The image set to Bra & Stocking Stuffer is out at Scoreland, the matching video at Score2Go, ScoreHD and Scoreland. More samples:

Screen shots from the Flash trailer and the WMV sample clips

Links:








Podcast! Cheryl Sloane on Pleasing Your Partner & Owning Your Sexuality


G boutique opened in Chicago in 2002 as a lingerie and sex toy shop owned and operated by women, for women. Ten years later, it is one of the city's premier boutiques for selling top-notch products in an environment that is both comforting and empowering for women. At GetLusty, we're all about taking control of your own sexuality, so we caught up with owner Cheryl Sloane and recorded it for your listening pleasure. Here's what she had to say:

More on what we talked about:
  • Why the need for a shop like G Boutique? According to Cheryl, "To create an environment that promotes sexual education and a place where women can feel comfortable buying anything they needed for sex and romance."
  • Her advice to newer couples who are still getting to know each other? Take time to find out what pleases your significant other and learn about them — while orgasms are great, there is more to a healthy relationship than just climaxing!
  • Having difficulty achieving an orgasm with your partner? There may be lingering emotional, biological and physical factors involved, but relaxation and communication are key, Cheryl believes.
  • What are Cheryl's recommendations for couples looking to keep things fresh and exciting? If you have an interest in something, research it and get the information first before discussing it with your partner, so you can have an educated conversation and explore those secret fantasies together. (Hint, hint — Check out GetLusty!)
More about Cheryl:

Born and raised in Chicago, Cheryl Sloane lived and worked in Bucktown in Chicago for 15 years before opening g boutique. Here's how it happened: Cheryl and (former co-owner) Kari wanted to write erotic fiction. 

After many brunches they got this crazy idea that Chicago wanted a boutique where women would feel comfortable buying everything they need for romance. Without a retail background, Cheryl called upon her theatre friends to help design a comfortable boutique where people would enjoy shopping. G boutique was always imagined as a place to build and support community. That was in 2002. Now, ten years later, she is thrilled to be helping people explore their intimate relationships in a safe, friendly environment. Connect with Cheryl and the g boutique staff on their website, on Facebook and Twitter @gboutique, or visit G Boutique, located at 2131 North Damen in Chicago, Illinois.

Sending Love to the East Coast

Dear Readers,

We're having a hard time reporting on sex when our friends and loved one's in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Connecticut and the entire East Coast are plumeted with rain and win.

Many of those there are experiencing a state of emergency. 46 people have been reported dead so far. Now, more than 6 million homes and businesses are without power. Today more than 7,500 National Guard troops and airmen were on duty in Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Maryland, North Carolina, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and Virginia. So far, this superstorm is projected to have an 'unthinkable' aftermath. Conditions are dangers and only getting worse.

We're sending our loving, patience and positive vibes to the East Coast and all those affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Much love,
Erica Grigg
Chief Lust Officer

Erica Grigg is our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex. If you don't see Erica riding around Chicago on her cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook and Google+, or get a hold of her at erica@getlusty.com.
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