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Podcast! Bonnie Gabriel on Talking Dirty

    We've gotten several questions about the topic of talking dirty. We thought the best person to ask about pillow talk is the professor herself. As a speaker, educator, and author of the popular book The Fine Art of Erotic Talk: How to Entice, Excite and Enchant Your Lover With Words, Bonnie Gabriel knows better than anyone that there is much more to arousal than just the physical.

    So GetLusty's Erica Grigg caught up with Bonnie to chat about talking dirty. The "Professor of Pillow Talk" had lots to say about introducing wordplay into the bedroom. Read on!

    What we talked about:
    • Ever want to talk dirty? Bonnie included many tips and ideas!
    • While most people think erotic talk means "talking dirty," it is actually only one aspect of a much wider topic. "Erotic talk is any form of verbal communication that arouses desire," says Bonnie.
    • Feeling self-conscious about opening up verbally with your partner? Start slowly with erotic questioning and ease into connecting words to your feelings.
    • Learning how to be an erotic listener for your partner can be just as important as being an erotic talker.
    • "Create an erotic safety net with words" by being with your significant other in a nonjudgmental way. Instead of criticizing your partner, tell them what you want instead. Also, acknowledge and take responsibility for your own reactions rather than blaming them on your partner, Bonnie recommends.
    • Learn each other's trigger words - use the words that commonly turn both of you on, or make up some of your own!
    • Having trouble knowing what to say? Read erotic novels to each other to become more comfortable with erotic language.
    More about Bonnie:

    Bonnie Gabriel, M.A., has been teaching seminars on verbal erotica in the USA since 1992. She is author of the Bantam/Random House book The Fine Art of Erotic Talk: How to Entice, Excite, and Enchant Your Lover with Words (available through

    Bonnie holds a M.A. in counseling from New York University and has taught at Bernard Baruch College (City University of New York), the New School for Social Research and NYU. Her warmth, wit, and wisdom make her a sought after speaker.

    Called “The Professor of Pillow Talk” by San Jose Mercury News reporter Murry Frymer, Bonnie Gabriel has conducted seminars on sexual communication issues for such professional associations as the National Sexuality Symposium and the Association for Humanistic Psychology, as well as lay workshops for the Learning Annex, and sex ed classes for San Francisco State University.

    To read more from Bonnie, visit her website and blog at, or connect with her on Facebook and Twitter @PillowTalkProf.

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