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7 Tips to Creating a Better Love Letter

    So you might be thinking, "Why do I need to know how or why to write a love letter?!" True. But if you don't need to know--how about the last time you actually wrote a love letter to your lover? It's a timeless tradition, and we think it needs a little attention. Why? Communication is key to a healthy marriage and relationship.

    We have written extensively on communication before sex, integrating communication into sex, and communication post-sex. But what about the communication that doesn't need words. Do we even remember how to say "I love you" without our cell phones anymore? Lee Harrington, the man who inspired our non-violent communication series, is here with 7 ways to say "I love you" without using your cell phone to text it. Lee is a wonderful writer, and we love his perspective! Instead, Lee is bringing back the retro and seriously romantic, love letter as his go-to form of communication.

    * * *

    In our culture of text messages and fast food, we have forgotten much of the art of the love note. Rather than a card picked up at the grocery store to be given only on special occasions, love notes can take a thousand forms. Consider doing one of the following to remind your sweetie how special they are to you:

    #1 Make it your own

    With handmade paper or nice paper from art stores, there are plenty of ways to make it your own card. It gives it your signature creativity!

    #2 Hand write the note

    Write your note by hand (unless your handwriting is abysmal, but then still sign it by hand). It's good practice to write by hand occasionally, and it's also fun to read hand writing!

    #3 Hide it!

    Hide the note in their briefcase or purse to find later by surprise. What a wonderful surprise to find a love note.

    #4 Scent 

    Put a tiny dot of your cologne, perfume, or other favorite scent (bacon, your body, fresh herbs) on the paper, but don't overwhelm them with too much the scent.

    #5 Color 

    Use a pen that is their favorite color. What better way to figure out their favorite color, if you aren't doubly sure. When they open it up and find their favorite color; they'll think it's even more adorable.

    #6 Seal the note

    Seal the note with wax or a sticker (by dripping candle wax--then you can even find a stamp at Michael's or similar arts & crafts store). Alternatively, seal the envelope then write over the seam/seal. Kiss the note with your lipstick as an additional cute gesture.

    #7 Stock up on postcards

    Keep a store of postcards and drop one in the mail every once in a while… even if they live with you.

    Love notes can be a single word of power waiting on a pillow or a twenty page letter given to your partner before they head out on the road (for extra oomph, consider handing them 7 envelopes, with a date on each one for the 7 days they will be gone). The important part is the power of the paper in our hand, not the hard plastic cell phones we have become to accustomed to. Step back and breathe in the parchment, and know that they care, as much as you do about them.

    Go forth, play with your passions, and enjoy!

    Lee Harrington is an internationally known spiritual and erotic educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist and award-winning author and editor on human sexuality and sacred experience. He’s been traveling the globe (from Seattle to Sydney, Berlin to Boston), teaching and talking about sexuality, psychology, faith, desire and more. He has been an academic and an adult film performer,  world class sexual adventurer, outspoken philosopher, kink/bondage expert and has been blogging about sex and spirituality since 1998.

    His books include “Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Negotiating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities” (with Mollena Williams), “Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond,” “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé,” the “Toybag Guide to Age Play,” and “Shed Skins: Journeying in Self-Portraits.” Check out the trouble Lee has been getting into, as well as his regular podcast, tour schedule, free essays, videos and more over at Follow him on Twitter @PassionAndSoul.
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