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6 Things You Didn’t Know About Cunnilingus

    Cunnilingus is one of the best gifts to give this holiday season. It's fun. It's free. Yet, there are some things you might not know about this lovely activity. So, of course, in GetLusty style--we had to uncover them for couples. GetLusty staff writer Lynn Olejniczak is here to talk about some of the things we may not have known about our favorite foreplay--cunnilingus.

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    Ah yes, cunnilingus. That lovely Latin word your college boyfriend couldn’t pronounce properly. This pleasurable activity is a game changer. Think about it: good sex with someone who likes going down becomes great sex, while good sex with someone who “doesn’t do that” becomes a one night stand.

    We women enjoy it, and we love it when our partners enjoy it too. It is a fun thing, a happy act. It brings giggles and groans, smiles and some of the best freaking orgasms we get to have. Now, this could be an article all about technique. But how-to-do-it pieces are featured every other month in Cosmo, and truthfully what works for some doesn’t always work for others. So let’s skip the directions and have a little fun with something that is already a lot of fun, and stock up on some office holiday party conversation starters. Kidding.

    #1 There's a 12.5 minute difference

    According to She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,  “The average man can maintain genital thrusting for two and a half minutes before ejaculation." For women this number is different. Again, according to the book, "But the average woman requires fifteen to eighteen minutes of persistent clitoral stimulation to have her first orgasm, that [is a] twelve-and-a-half-minute difference." In short, make sure your partner is in for the long haul. Cunnilingus takes effort (our top recommendations for making her cum here).

    #2 It was once out-of-the-question

    Thank goodness we're beyond these days, but it's good to know about history so we don't repeat the mistakes of yesteryear. In ancient Greece, the mouth was a noble orifice used for oratory theatre. Therefore, it was not to be defiled in any way by the act of oral sex. Oral sex was only performed by prostitutes because it was an act unworthy of the thinking culture. So if you are the wife of a Greek senator, don’t hold your breath because it ain’t gonna happen.

    #3 The dominatrix Empress

    T’sang Dynasty Emperess Wu Zetian felt fellatio made men superior, and she wanted to retain all political power. This was probably due to the fact that at 13 she was the concubine of Emperor Taizong of Tang and gained power at every turn. During her rule as Empress, she decided that visiting dignitaries and government officials were required to perform oral sex on her. In A. Edwardes & R. E. L. Masters’ book, The Cradle of Erotica, there are paintings of the Empress holding open her robes while men kneel between her legs and kiss her clitoris as a sign of obedience and respect.

    #4 Jehovah's Witness? Cunnilingus is a no-no

    Surprise! If you are dating a Jehovah Witness there is no oral sex for you! According to their official site even if you are married the act of cunnilingus is not in sync with the “natural use of the female.” 

    Some of the scripture Jehovah's witnesses site: Thus, a mate's enforcing perverted acts, such as oral or anal sex, within the marriage would not constitute a Scriptural basis for a divorce that would free either for remarriage. Even though a believing mate is distressed by the situation, yet that one's endeavor to hold to Scriptural principles will result in a blessing from Jehovah. In such cases it may be helpful for the couple to discuss the problem frankly, bearing in mind especially that sexual relations should be honorable, wholesome, an expression of tender love. This certainly should exclude anything that might distress or harm one's mate. - Ephesians 5:28-30; 1 Peter 3:1, 7.

    #5 Sometimes it's illegal

    Oral sex is still illegal in 18 states mostly in the south; though who is surprised that Utah and Minnesota are part of that list too? This has much to do with sodomy laws which just group oral in with the mix. I would be a bit concerned in Georgia though where if convicted of performing oral sex you can be imprisoned for no less than one year and no more than 20! You're likely going to do it anyway. Just don't get caught.

    #6 April 14th is Cake & Cunnilingus Day

    What better pair than Steak and a Blowjob on March 14? Well, just one short month later, there's another holiday commemorating another oral sex delight. April 14 is not only the day we try to fill out or taxes at the last minute but it is also Cake and Cunnilingus Day! This lovely little festivus even has a website dedicated to it. Tort, anyone?

    So now you can set your timers, plan your vacations to China, and call your favorite bakery. Oh and that smile on women’s faces on April 15 has everything to do with getting their taxes in on time. Riiight.

    Lynn Olejniczak is a native Chicagoan who loves her city and everything it has to offer. She spent 10 years as a NASDAQ trader in Chicago and New York in the 90's, then went back to college when "the rules changed and I realized no one was going to pay me lots of money to swear at them anymore."

    She loves good food, and a perfectly poured Guinness at any Irish pub in the city. Her Beastie Boys CD's rest comfortably next to her Misfits vinyl, and she believes Underground Garage is the best radio program known to humankind. Armed with degrees in History, and a love of Urban Planning, Lynn is currently writing and researching a book on the 80's Chicago bar scene. Get in touch with Lynn at
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